Author's note: The character Tammy is not me. No Mary Sue's here. She is however based on a girl named Tammy that I used to meet at a club every Friday night during the summer of '93. The pick up line, that was ours. We were the two Tammy's from Clover. Worked like a charm. :)
Why do I do these things? Why? I'll tell you why. Tammy Louise Patterson. I knew from the first day she tossed her bag down across the hall from my dorm room that she was going to be my friend. They say that every group of friends has that one quiet girl, one bitch, one prude and one slut. I was the prude. Marjorie was the quiet one, Candi was the bitch in the best possible sense of the term and Tammy was the slut. Not slut in the way you think, but she was definitely the most…uh….sexual. That's what makes her so fun. I've known her for eleven years now. God, where did the time go? Out of all the girls on our hall, we're the only two that have really stayed in touch. Let's be honest, she's the only one that lasted through Greg 'Dr Freeride' Matthews. She tried to tell me. Tried to warn me, but she never really pushed. She was my friend. She was the one that helped me pack my car. Both times. So, that my friends is why I'm standing in the White House bathroom in black leather pants, red halter top and way too much eye liner.
Tammy moved to DC about six months ago. She's a civil engineer with Hayes, Seay, Mattern and Mattern. She makes roads. Her words, not mine. To say I was thrilled with her moving here was an understatement. Her apartment is only about ten minutes from mine. That would mean something if I ever got away from work to actually go spend time with her. That is how I ended up here. The Slow Buzz opened a few weekends ago and Tammy has been dying to go. She still hasn't found anyone she would really want to go clubbing with, so she made me promise I would go with her. She came over last night after I got home and brought me some clothes to try on. She's about six inches shorter than I am, so you can see why I laughed in her face. Little did I know, she had decided to buy me an early birthday present. Now, I never really thought of myself as the leather pants type. But now that I look at myself in the mirror, I'm pretty hot. Oh God, I'm even sounding like Tammy. She's not what you'd call shy. She's not even in the same universe as shy. She's fun, smart and sexy as hell. Just ask her. She'll tell you. Guys love her. Me on the other hand, guys do not love. So, that's why Tammy and I are such great friends. She knows all the rules of dating and has always made sure I was aware of them. Rule number one: Look good enough to eat. Literally. Now that's a rule I'll always follow. It is! Don't you remember the red dress? See. I follow the rules. Most of them anyway. Tammy's rules are sometimes hard to put in motion. I better start brushing out my hair. She'll be here any minute. Before I can get the brush through my hair my cell phone rings. I dig through the make up and discarded work clothes before I can find it.
"Almost, where are you?"
"I'm on Dupont Circle. I should be there soon. They know I'm coming right?"
"Right." The last time she was here she asked the Secret Service agent in the hall that if she made a threat would he tackle her to the ground. Jack still wants her number.
"Okay, have you got everything?" Here we go, Tammy's rules. I sigh into the phone before answering.
"Yes. I think so."
"You think so? Donna, any successful evening must start out with the proper planning. Are you wearing the halter top I loaned you?"
"Yes, and I'm not so sure about having the world see my navel."
"What about the pants? You look hot in the pants Donna."
"I'm wearing the pants."
"Did you decide on the 'fuck-me-panties' or are you going commando?" This is why I like her. She's funny as hell and she knows it.
"I'm wearing the blue ones I showed you the other night. I don't think they say 'fuck-me' as much as they say 'let's have a drink.'"
"Then take them off! You haven't had a
good lay in….in…..oh Jesus Donna, that's just sad."
"Save it for the club, hot girl."
"Yeah right. Where are you now?"
"Almost to the gate."
"Okay, let me get my coat. I don't want to
have to explain why I'm dressed like a whore to half the White House senior
"Dressed like a whore!? I'm hurt. You're hot Donna. Don't forget that! Besides, Josh might like it."
"See you in a few." I shake my head and laugh as I snap the phone closed. She's a freak. A smart freak. But a freak nonetheless. She picked up on my feelings for Josh about an hour after I called her from New Hampshire. She keeps telling me he feels the same way, but that's just stupid. Josh doesn't even see me half the time. He's too busy running the country. Case in point, the red dress. Yep, that was a night to remember. Asshole. I drag the brush through my hair again and check my make up once more. That's as good as it's going to get. I shove everything in my bag just as Carol comes in.
"You look great! Where are you going?"
"Tammy and I are going to the Slow Buzz."
"Wish I could go. Sounds fun. Oh, the
reason I came in here, Josh is looking for you."
"Oh God." I groan. I was hoping to slip out of here tonight. I don't feel like getting into a big thing. I know he's going to snark me. I'm nervous enough as it is in these pants. What if PETA decides to maul me in the parking lot?
"Good luck." I smile as I grab my overcoat from the counter and put in on. I button it all the way to the top and sling my duffel bag over my shoulder.
"Bye Carol. See you tomorrow."
Josh is leaning against his door talking to Sam when I walk through the bullpen. Maybe if I'm casual he won't notice that I look like I'm about to face a winter storm.
"Hey Josh, Carol said you needed me." Josh and Sam turn to look at me. I can tell by Josh's face that casual isn't going to work for me.
"What's with the coat?"
"Once Tammy gets here."
"Tammy's coming here?"
"Yes, so be nice."
"Who's Tammy?" Oh that's right. Sam wasn't here when she came.
"She's Donna's friend from college. Very frightening woman."
"She's not frightening. She's confident."
"She offered to serve my balls on a plate if I didn't let you off work to go to that chick movie."
"You promised I could leave early that night."
"I didn't know we'd have to fix the thing." Yeah right.
"So Tammy and you have been friends for a long time, huh?" Leave it Sam to try and keep the peace.
"Yeah, she was my suite mate in college. She's great. Stick around. She'll be here in a few minutes." I put my duffel bag back on my desk and look over the stack of papers Josh has deposited on my desk. I can feel him staring at me. Just say it Josh.
"Are those leather pants?" Oh shit. I wasn't expecting him to say that. And why did his voice go up like that?
"Yes." Sam's got that weird smile on his face and Josh looks a little pale.
"Yes. They were an early birthday gift from Tammy."
"Where are you two going tonight?" Oh shit. Shit. Shit.
"To hell if we don't do better." Thank God. Tammy strolls in with her normal flair.
"Hey, you ready?" Let's hope by my over enthusiastic tone she'll get the hint that I'm ready to get the hell out of Dodge.
"Hi, I'm Tammy Patterson." Sam extends his hand and offers her one of his best smiles.
"Sam Seaborn. It's a pleasure to meet you."
"The pleasure is all mine." Here we go. Poor Sam, he doesn't really have a chance. Tammy tucks a strand of her brown hair behind her ear and smiles. Sam can't help but take in the full view. Tammy's dressed to kill tonight. She's wearing a white tank-top and tight brown leather pants. Her tan skin always made me feel like a ghost, even more so tonight. I nervously clutch at the top of my coat.
"It's not that cold out Donna. Lose the coat." There's the grin, the grin that always got me in so much trouble in college. She's screwing with me. I'm going to kill you for this.
"I'm a little chilly."
"No way. Those pants hold in the heat. Now the top, that's a different story. But you'll be glad there's no back once we get to the club. It's always roasting in clubs like that." You are so dead. Why does Josh look like he's just swallowed his tongue?
"No back? You're shirt has no back?" Josh chokes out.
"Here, Donna, let me help you." Tammy reaches out and unbuttons two of the three buttons while I'm distracted by all that coughing coming from Josh.
"Stop it. I can do it." You are most definitely dead. I close my eyes as I peel the coat away from my shoulders. The cool office air makes me shiver slightly as I toss the coat over the back of my office chair.
"You look so hot! We are going to have such a good time tonight."
"Donna, you look fantastic!" I could kiss you Sam Seaborn.
"Donna, can I see you for a second. I need to ask you about the thing." Josh has this hard expression on his face. What's wrong?
"Josh, what's wrong?"
"My office Donna."
"Here Tam, take my stuff on downstairs, I'll see you in a few minutes."
"Okay, but hurry up. It's been a hard week and I feel the need to get my groove back." Tammy adds a little ass wiggle to her statement that causes Sam to laugh a little as he tugs on his tie. I follow Josh into his office and wait for him to tell me why he looks like he's about to have a conniption.
Tammy's got half of her buttons undone before Donna can notice. She must be too busy watching me choke on my own saliva. No back?! Donna has no business wearing something with no back, much less wear it with leather pants. Donna slips the coat off her shoulders and……
Oh. My. God.
"You look so hot! We are going to have such a good time tonight." God, does Donna look hot. Too hot. This is bad. This is six kinds of bad.
"Donna, you look fantastic!" I could kill you Sam Seaborn.
"Donna, can I see you for a second" I need to ask you about the thing." That's it. Play it cool. Just get her ass in your office. In the office, away from Tammy. She's such a bad influence on Donna. She has Donna in leather pants and a halter-top! Not that I don't want Donna in a leather pants and a halter top but not to go out to some club and pick up some gomer.
"Josh, what's wrong?" What's wrong?! Some guy's going to take one look at you and offer you the moon for a quick lay, that's what's wrong!
"My office Donna."
She's looking at me like she has no clue what's wrong here.
"You're not going out like that are you?" Damn, I should have opened with something better than that. She looks hurt.
"What's wrong with it? Do I look bad?" Oh God, I've hurt her feelings. Uh…..must save. Think. Think.
"No, you look….you look gorgeous."
Whoa. Where did that come from? She's my assistant. She's my assistant. She's my
"Then what's wrong? Why can't I go out like this?"
"You're just asking for trouble. You're wearing leather pants." There. That should be enough. She'll know what I mean and go change back into that nice pants suit she had on earlier.
"I'm asking for trouble?" Uh oh. She's got that look. She doesn't realize I'm just trying to help her.
"I'm asking for trouble? Because I'm wearing leather pants? You're an idiot."
"I'm not an idiot! If you go out looking
like that, then you're just asking for the wrong type of guy to hit on
"Well Josh, I've never gone out like this before. Not in DC, anyway, so maybe that being the case, I'll have the right type of guy hitting on my this time." Huh? What? She's not listening to me. She doesn't see my point.
"I'm leaving now."
"No wait! You're serious about going out with….without any….with….."
"Yes Josh. As my good friend Tam out there says, I'm hot and I'm going to get my groove back."
"I know." So do I. I hate Tammy. Things were just fine before she came along.
"You know what I mean."
"No, I don't think I do. All I see is you trying to spoil yet another one of my evenings away from this place." Dammit!
"Dammit Donna!" I swipe my hand through my hair as she starts to scowl at me in that Oh-so-Donna way of hers.
"I'm leaving. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Don't count on it." Dammit!
Asshole! I know what he's doing. He thinks I'm so stupid. I look hot. I'm tall blonde and in leather. Hell yeah, I'm hot! I'm not going to let him ruin another night out. Besides, Tam would kill me. I grab my purse that Tammy left on my desk and turn to see Sam exiting his office.
"Wait up." Huh?
"Tammy invited me along. I hope you don't mind. Hey, are you okay? You look pissed." Tammy invited you along? I'll have to warn her about you later.
"I'm fine. Josh is an ass." Speaking of Josh. What does he think he's doing? Why does he have his coat on?
"Hey Sam, I'll go with you."
"Sure, come on." Oh no! Not a chance.
"No way." I stop and spin around to face Josh as he comes up behind me. I plant my hand firmly against his well built chest…..wait….uh, hell.
"You're not coming."
"Why not? Sam's going. Besides, you might need us to beat all the guys off you." Why am I hearing Tammy's laughter in my head?
"No way. You'll just ruin my good time."
"You might be by the end of the night." Damn, that sounded good. Tammy is such a bad influence on me. No wonder my mom hates her.
"Donna." God, stop whining.
"Okay, on one condition. You stay out of our way. Tammy and I have fun when we go out so you're going to have to deal with it. Don't go pulling your over protective boss routine on me. Got it?" I poke him in the chest for emphasis.
"Fine. Let's go. I need a drink." Sam grins as he holds the door open for me. This is going to be one hell of a night.
"What are we taking?" Josh looks over at Sam and then to me.
"Tam's driving. I took the metro this morning."
"Oh." Dick. Hey I can be hostile if I want to. I'm wearing a halter-top and no bra and lets just say I'm pretty sure Sam just noticed I'm a little cold if you know what I mean. Thank God. Tammy pulls up in her huge SUV. She's 5' 4" and drives an Expedition. I'm 5' 11" and drive a Honda Civic. Where's the logic in that?
"You ready?!" Tam beams at me through the window.
"Let's go!" Sam and Josh climb into the back seat and I settle into the front. Tammy gives the car some gas and heads out of the parking lot. I pull my purse into my lap and start pulling the things I'll need out of it.
"Hey, do mine too."
"Do what? What are you ladies doing?" Sam's so curious. He can't stand not knowing what's going on around him. As I pull out my license, I turn slightly in my seat to face Sam.
"Tammy and I don't like to carry our purses in when we go out. So, we put some money and our license in our pockets along with a few other essentials." Tammy's grinning at me. She's got her sites on Sam, big time. Poor guy. He'll never know what hit him.
"Other essentials?" Josh leans around the seat from behind me and smiles. He's trying to be cute. Well, I'm still pissed Joshua Lyman. So I'm going to make your life hell all night.
"Oh, just a little this and that. Things a girl might need when she's looking for trouble." Take that. Tammy starts laughing. She's having a ball. Not only are we going to a club, but she already has her sites on a guy.
"Hey, you guys have got to loosen up if we're going to be seen with you." Tammy looks in the rear view mirror as she talks.
"Yeah, Sam. Lose the noose. Jacket too. You boys can't shake your groove things in those suit jackets." Sam laughs as he pulls at the knot on his tie. Josh leans forward and shrugs out of his coat. He's wearing the blue shirt. I love that blue shirt. He looks good in it. Especially when he takes his tie off and looks all casual…..no! Stop it. You are pissed at him and you are going to make him pay.
"So, Tam, what's our signal for tonight? The last one didn't work like you planned."
"I know. That lesbian totally misinterpreted my lip licking."
"I hated to hurt her feelings but she wasn't taking the hint." Josh looks from me to Tammy and then leans forward in the seat again.
"What signal?" I motion for Tammy to take this one.
"Whenever Donna and I go out, we have a signal to let the other one know that we need rescuing. If I lick my lips like this." Tammy swipes her tongue slowly across her upper lip while Sam looks on in delight. "Then Donna knows to get her ass over there and get me away from whatever jerk won't leave me alone."
"So some woman was hitting on you?" Josh has that look. He's thinking about lesbians. He's such a perv.
"Yeah. I tried to be nice. I mean I have nothing against being a lesbian or anything. Be who you want to be. But, I'm not a lesbian. I had to finally get blunt."
"What did you say?" Oh please don't say it. Please don't say it. Please don't…..
"I finally said, 'look honey, I'm flattered but I like dick.' She got the point." God, she said it. Josh is laughing his head off, while Sam looks like he might burst a vein trying not to laugh.
"You're so eloquent." I give her my best sarcastic smile. She rolls her eyes and takes a hard right turn into the parking lot.
"This the club?" Sam looks out the window in confusion.
"No, this is a diner."
"Come on boys. A girl's gotta eat." Tammy shifts the car in park and smiles at Sam by way of the rear view mirror.
What the hell have I gotten myself into? I'm going clubbing with Sam Seaborn, Tammy Patterson and Donnatella Moss. I've lost it. I've really lost it. Tammy has Donna by the arm as we walk through the parking lot toward the little diner. Looks like a typical greasy spoon. I hold the door for Donna hoping she won't look so pissed at me anymore. No such luck. She ignores me. Tammy slides into a booth and Sam slides in next to her. Donna gives me a look before sliding in to the booth so I can sit next to her. Tammy and Sam huddle over one menu and I look over at Donna hoping to at least get a small smile as she hands me the other menu on the table.
"What's good here?"
"All of it." Donna's tone is tight. I don't care. I'm out with Donna. She might be going out to pick up guys, but I'm not going to let that happen.
"What are you going to have?" Sam asks Tammy as he props his arm up on the back of the booth. Smooth Sam. Real smooth. I'd do the same but Donna would probably rip my arm off and beat me with it.
"The usual. Grill cheese and fries."
"Sounds good." Sam's such a wuss. He's totally hitting on Tammy. She's not your type man. The waitress comes over and smiles at us before taking our order. Within a few minutes, we're all eating grill cheese sandwiches.
"Do you and Tammy always fill up on grill cheese before a night of dancing?" I lean over a little and nudge Donna playfully with my shoulder. See, I'm charming.
"All the bread helps soak up some of the alcohol. Plus the water helps with the hangover."
"But, you're driving tonight." Sam looks over at Tammy and frowns. He's always the first to worry.
"I'm only having one. That's the deal. It's my turn to drive. One beer at nine and that's it until closing at two." Sam smiles at her. She smiles back. Oh no.
"You ready? I need a drink." Since when does Donna need a drink so bad? She shoves me in the arm so I'll scoot out of the booth. I hold my hand out to her so she can stand. She takes it and I smile. Charming. That's me. She rolls her eyes. Okay, you're not working with me here, Donna. Sam pulls out his wallet and grabs the ticket. I slide him a ten for mine and Donna's before Donna can fish her money from the front pocket of those tight leather pants. God, she looks hot.
"You don't have to pay for me." Be nice. Be nice. Be nice
"I know. You can buy me a beer later."
"I won't be the one to get you drunk. Let Sam buy you your one beer." Oh, she's funny. Don't say it. Don't you dare say it.
"Don't look at me Donna. I'm not going to be the downfall of Josh's delicate system." Dammit, Sam! I thought she would say it. Not you!
"Shut up, Sam." He laughs as we head back through the parking lot again. It's going to be one hell of a night.
"This place is packed!" Tammy exclaims as she pulls into the parking lot. We are going to have fun tonight if it kills us. Josh and Sam can just find a quiet corner and stay the hell out of our way.
"So do you think you'll break out the pick up line tonight?"
"Let's hope. It's never failed me." I can't help but laugh. Her pick up line is funny as hell. I wish I had a great line like that.
"Pick up line? Let's hear it." Sam calls as he opens her door for her. Josh and I have already made it around to the front of her car when she loops her arm with Sam's and looks up at him. She's laying it on thick.
"Well, the first time I ever used it, the guy asked me where I was from. So, I told him. I said, 'I'm from Clover. The town with 'love' in the middle and my name's Tammy. The name with 'mmmm' in the middle.' He bought me drinks for the rest of the night." Tammy laughs as Sam grins over at Josh. Josh just shakes his head and follows them to the entrance of the club.
The music's loud and typical of club music. The guy at the door recognizes Josh and waves our cover charge. Tammy thinks that's the best thing since sliced bread. She grabs me by the hand and pulls me through the crowd to the bar. Sam and Josh get pushed through the crowd so we have a minute to talk before they reach us.
"What are you doing?!"
"He's the type to want a relationship. Just be careful."
"Gotcha. What are you going to do tonight?"
"Huh?" God this music is loud.
"Josh! What's the deal with Josh?"
"He's being an ass. He didn't like your ensemble that you picked out for me."
"He's jealous." Yeah right. He's just over protective.
"Trust me." She motions for the bartender and orders herself a beer and me a whiskey sour. "Here. Drink this. You need to have fun tonight. Give him something to be jealous about."
"He's not jealous."
"Whatever you say." I know that tone. She's pacifying me. Fine. I take a long drink of my whiskey sour and grin at her.
"Here they come." Josh and Sam have finally made it through the crowd. They both look adorable. Josh has on a pair of navy slacks and his sleeves are rolled up. Sam is pressed and polished in his black slacks and crisp white shirt. Josh leans against the bar next to me and orders a beer. He looks over at me. I know what he's waiting on. I'm not his assistant tonight. He can drink as many beers as he wants. Let Sam take him home. I plan on getting buzzed and sweaty from all the dancing. Yep. Donnatella Moss is going to get her freak on.
"Here's your song! Let's go dance!" I finish off the last of my drink and nod my head at Tammy. I give my empty glass to Josh. I smile at him and hop off toward the dance floor.
Donna hands me her empty glass and smiles at me. She's beautiful. I can't help but smile as I watch her bare back and blonde hair bounce through the crowd. She and Tammy hit the dance floor with a flourish, each of them throwing themselves into the center of the crowd. Tammy swings her hair from side to side as she twists her hips to the beat of the music. Donna tosses her head back and holds her arms above her head as she wiggles her ass from side to side. I've never seen Donna like this. Maybe it's the pants.
Cute guy. Very cute guy. I reach out and push Tammy in the shoulder while she dances up to some guy. She turns to me and follows my gaze to the heavenly body walking past the dance floor.
"Starting early, I see." I nod in agreement and she holds out her hand.
"I think it's a tequila night." She cocks her head to the side and smiles.
"You sure? You're a slut when you drink tequila."
"I'm sure. Here." I hand her some money and push her back toward the bar. Now, it's time to get cute guy to notice me. I watch as Tammy pushes her way to the bar and stands beside Sam while I weave through the people in the opposite direction near cute guy. There he is. Time it. Slow down. Okay, bump into him right…..about…..now.
"Oh I'm sorry." Toss hair and smile. He looks me up and down. Now he's smiling. Good. Now ask me to dance. Ask me.
"No problem." And he keeps walking. What the hell?! Where's Tammy? Shit. I cross the crowd again and find Tammy and Josh making fun of some guy's see-through mesh shirt.
"Drink. Now." She smiles over at me and hands me the salt shaker from the bar. I shake my head. I've been rejected. I want the shot straight. Josh looks at me in surprise as I knock back the shot and grin down at Tammy.
"What happened to cute guy?" She just had to ask in front of Josh.
"Gay. Get me another." Sam looks over at Tammy as she orders another shot for me.
"Don't get too drunk. You're too tall for me to carry home." Tammy warns as she hands me another shot. This is it for a while. I just need to get a good buzz going. Just as I place the empty shot glass on the bar, Josh gets shifted by the crowd and places his hand on my back to move us out of the way. The feel of his warm hand on my back makes me jump slightly.
"Sorry Donnatella. We're in the way." Now when did it get so hot in here? Maybe it's the fact that Josh has pulled me in front of him and the two linemen that just walked past pushed me into his chest. Is that his hand on my hip?
"Come on Josh. Let's dance." Where did that come from? It must be the tequila. Wait, I think I'm still supposed to be pissed at him. Huh. Whatever. I grab Josh by the hand and drag him to the middle of the dance floor. The bass of the song is vibrating through my spinal cord as I turn and face Josh. He just looks at me for a minute before he starts to grin. I notice Sam has Tammy by the waist and is currently doing some weird throw back to Dirty Dancing.
"Come on, Josh. We're not in the office. Loosen up." Before I get the words out of my mouth, Josh grabs my hips and pulls me closer to him.
"I can do that." I try to think of something smart-assed to say but with Josh's hands rubbing up and down my hip I can't think. So as my friend Tammy would say. Don't think, Dance! I put my arms on either side of Josh's head and swivel my hips back and forth to the music. Okay, this is nice. I could get used to this. Josh isn't a bad dancer. He's a great dancer when it comes to State Dinners and formal functions. But I never really thought about how he'd be at a club. Not bad. Not bad at all. The music starts to slow down and the crowd starts to thin. I wait for Josh to lead us off the dance floor. He probably won't want to dance to the slow songs. I look over at Tammy and smile. Sam has his arms wrapped around her waist and is swaying her slowing back and forth to the music. He's so sweet. I jerk my attention back to Josh when I feel his arm snake around my waist and pull me closer to him.
"Dance with me Donnatella."
Donna walks up to the bar and asks Tammy for another shot. Since when does Donna do tequila shots? Damn, she drank it straight and didn't even wince. Who is this woman and where's my sweet condo-raised-farm-girl?
"What happened to cute guy?" Cute guy?! Who the hell is cute guy? Donna was with some guy?
"Gay. Get me another." Gay? Thank God. He'd have to be gay to turn down Donna. Especially Donna in leather pants and just a scrap of a shirt. Four little strings only hold on that thing. Four. Makes it easier to take off though. Whoa. That shouldn't be in there. I'm not supposed to think of her that way. She's my assistant. My hot, young, incredibly sexy in that top assistant. These two huge brick walls move through the crowd and I instinctively put my hand on Donna's back to guide her out of the way. Oh God, I forgot about the top. My hand in pressed firmly against her bare back and I think I'm starting to sweat. When did it get so hot? The guys moved past us and Donna is forced to take a step toward me. Fine by me. Now she's pressed firmly up against me. God she feels good. Before I realize it, my hands are sliding down to her hips. The soft leather of her pants feels so good.
"Sorry Donnatella. We're in the way." She smiles at me and I think my stomach just dropped.
"Come on Josh. Let's dance." She threads her fingers through mine and pulls me toward the dance floor. At least she isn't pissed at me anymore. Sam and Tammy are behind us as Donna and I make it to the center of the crowd. Sam is really working this girl. I didn't think Tammy would be his type but sure looks like he's trying to score. I wouldn't mind scoring tonight. But, this is Donna and she doesn't feel that way about me.
She's just looking at me and smiling. I love her smile. That smile is what gets me through the day. She reaches hand and pulls on my arm.
"Come on, Josh. We're not in the office. Loosen up." That's right. We're not at the office. We're not boss and assistant. We're just Josh and Donna. So what the hell. I place my hands on her hips and pull her closer.
"I can do that." And a lot of other things if given the chance. She starts dancing and I think I'm about to lose my mind. She moving her hips back and forth in front of me and I can't help but wonder how those hips would feel against me in other ways. I've never been one to go out dancing at clubs, but I did go to college. I've been none to bust a move once in a while. Stop laughing. Busting a move is still quite acceptable phrasing. Shut up. After a few minutes the music starts to slow down and Donna stops dancing. She looks over at Sam. He's got his arms wrapped firmly around Tammy and is swaying her around. Donna's got that look on her face. Well Sam, you're not the only ladies man. I slip my arm around Donna's waist and pull her up against me. Time to pull out the charm.
"Dance with me, Donnatella." Her body seems to just mold into mine as we move back and forth to the music. I feel her shiver as I run my fingertips over her back. She's basically straddling my thigh as we sway back and forth to the music. I feel her hands slide up to the back of my neck and I think I've stopped breathing.
God this feels so good. If Josh pushes his thigh into my hips once more I just might grab him by the hair and stick my tongue down his throat. Wait. This is Josh. Josh my boss. Josh my boss that doesn't think of me like that. I push away from him and try to catch my breath. The music stopped and I'm looking frantically across the dance floor for Tammy.
"What's wrong Donna?"
"Where's Tammy? I need to go to the restroom." Shit. Why did I tell him that? There she is. I push my way around Sam and grab her by the arm.
"Let's go pee." Shit, there I go again. Tequila is so not my friend.
"Okay. Sam, we'll be right back."
"Josh and I will be over at the bar." Josh gives me a confused look as I pull Tammy toward the bathroom. Once inside, I take a deep breath and lean against the counter.
"Nothing. I just needed a break." She doesn't believe me.
"Right. So, Sam's hot."
"Yeah. Just be careful."
"He's really hot."
"Yeah. But he's lonely. So don't hurt him."
"I won't. We'll just see how tonight goes. Who knows, maybe I'll fall in love."
"Not likely." Tammy fell in love once. Nearly killed her. Hr heart still hasn't mended.
"Besides, you're in love enough for the both of us." Huh?
"You heard me."
"I'm drunk. You have to talk slower." I'm also a smart-ass. Take that.
"You're not that drunk. I've seen you
drink more than that and still function on all cylinders. I see how he looks at
"He doesn't look at me." He barely notices me. I don't even know why he's here.
"He does. I think you should just cut through the bullshit and grab him by the head and suck his tonsils out."
"You should right love sonnets. You're very articulate."
"I'm right and you know it. Fine. If you don't believe me then just go out there and find a new guy. There's plenty to choose from."
"Maybe I will."
"Okay." Okay dammit. I'm going to find another guy. A cute guy. A guy that thinks I'm hot. Forget Josh Lyman.
Tammy pushes the door open and we immediately run into these two gorgeous guys walking toward the bar. Tammy walks by one of them and gives him her best look. He smiles and reaches out a hand to stop her.
"Care to dance?"
"Sure." His friend looks over at me and smiles. Oh yeah. Cute guy. Cute guy that isn't Josh. You'll do just fine.
"What about you? You dance?"
"I think I can be persuaded." He takes me by the hand and pulls me to the dance floor. The guy dancing with Tammy looks like he's having some type of seizure. Eww. Run Tammy, run! She shoots me a look and I can't help but laugh. At least the guy I'm with can currently keep a beat. The tequila must be getting to me because I don't even notice Tammy make a break through the crowd to go find Sam. Cute guy that's not Josh leans over and asks my name. Okay, two choices here: real name or standard fake. Is this the type of guy I want calling me everyday or is this just some cute guy to dance with? What the hell.
"My name's Donna."
"I'm Chad." Chad. Chad. Chad. I always think of suntan lotion and skateboarders whenever I hear that name. I have no idea why. Chad seems to be a very friendly guy. His hand on my ass would be my first clue.
Sam and I are sipping on another beer when Tammy bounces up to the bar.
"Dancing with some guy. His friend asked me to dance but whatever it was that he was doing could never be classified as dancing. He did some kind of weird spin and I made a break for it."
"You just left her out there?" She just left Donna with some guy?
"She's grown. She can handle herself Josh. This isn't the first time Donna and I have gone out you know." I don't want to hear that. I have no need to hear about the Tammy-Donna escapades. She leans over and whispers something to Sam that makes him smile. He nods his head and looks over at me.
"I'm going…." He motions to the bathroom and smiles. " I'll be right back."
"'Kay." I keep looking for Donna in the crowd. There are too many people. Wait. There she is. Oh God, what is she with? He looks like a Tommy Hillfiger ad. I take a step to the left to get a better look. SHIT! He's got his hand on her ass. Why is she letting him put his hand on her ass? It should be my hand on her ass, not Tommy Boy's.
"I thought your eyes were brown." Huh? Tammy's looking up at me and smiling. What the hell is she talking about?
"They are." Who cares what color my eyes are?
"They look pretty green from where I'm standing."
"Come on Josh. Let's dance." I must give her a look that conveys just how I feel about the prospect of dancing with her.
"It won't kill you. I'm not a bad as you think." I laugh a little. I think she's probably worse than I think and maybe I should tell Sam to run while he has the chance.
"You're just mad because I threatened you."
"You threatened to serve my balls to me on a plate."
"It was just a little creative language, Josh. I'm sweet. Really."
"Yeah, okay." I follow her out to the dance floor and notice she goes to the opposite side from were Donna and Tommy Boy are dancing. Tammy keeps her distance from me as we dance. She only steps closer so she can say something in my ear.
"You need to tell her."
"What?" She leans closer and places her hand on my shoulder. I look across the floor and see Tommy Boy with his arms wrapped completely around Donna. It looks like he's licking her shoulder!
"You need to tell Donna. You're going to lose her otherwise." What the hell? Huh? What is she talking about?
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about Donna and I'm talking about how you can't stand it when anyone pays her the least bit of attention. That would mean she just might like it and leave you."
"You're being ridiculous."
"Am I? I think you like her."
"You're wrong." I more than like Donna. Uh oh. That can't be good.
"I'm not. Look at the way you're burning a hole through that guy she's dancing with. If looks could kill Josh, he would have dropped dead five minutes ago."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because she's my best friend and I want to see her happy."
"What makes you think I could make her happy." She reaches out and puts both hands on my sides so I'm forced to look at her.
"Because if you'd show her how you feel, you would." I swallow hard and wonder why I can't hear the music anymore over the pounding in my ears. Sam walks up behind Tammy and wraps his arms around her waist.
"Hey, miss me?"
"Of course. Josh and I were just shakin' our money makers." Sam's expression changes and I look to see what he's looking at over my shoulder. Tammy pulls away from him and starts to walk away.
"That's the signal. I need to go get Donna." Signal? The signal.
"I thought you didn't have one."
"She's pulling out an old standard."
"What did she do?"
"She just mouthed the word 'help'." Help? My Donna needs help?
"I'll go." I step in front of Tammy. Before I can take another step, I feel Sam's hand on my arm.
"Josh, remember where you are and who you are. Don't cause a scene."
"No problem." I push my way through the crowd toward Donna. I'm almost to her when she looks over at me. I make eye contact with her and she looks a little more frightened than relieved.
Did this guy just lick my shoulder? Gross! Gross! Gross! Maybe if I just give him a slight push he'll get the hint and back off.
"Thanks." Oh dear. Wrong thing to say. That's his hand on my ass. Okay, shake a little to the left and dislodge the hand. Good. Okay. We're fine. Back to dancing. Maybe if I can find Tammy I can get myself out of here without looking like a total bitch. Chad doesn't seem to notice that I'm barely moving except for the craning of my neck from side to side looking for Tammy. There she is! What is she doing dancing with Josh? Oh God, she's talking to him. I'm going to kill you. Tammy you are a dead woman. Oh God! Get off me! I think Chad just tried to grab my breast.
"I think I need to go find me friend."
"But the dance isn't over yet Baby." Okay, evidently he's a little drunker than I thought. Josh keeps looking over here. He looks pissed. Now if I could just get Tammy's attention. Oh, there's Sam. Sam! Look. Look! Gotcha! Tammy and Sam are both looking over here and I manage to mouth the words.
"Help me now." Chad has decided to use both hands to grab my ass this time. Hurry up Tammy. I don't want to have to deck this guy and get thrown out. Oh God. It's Josh. Where's Tammy? Josh will just get us arrested. Oh shit.
Josh walks up behind me and places a hand on my hip.
"I think we're ready to leave." Oh thank God. The nice approach.
"Okay." I start to pull away from Chad when I feel his hand tighten around my arm.
"I'll take you home. " Ow. Ow. Ow. Josh must see the look of pain on my face because he steps forward and grabs Chad's arm.
"The lady came with me and that's who she's leaving with."
"Well, maybe she wants to leave with me." He tightens his grip on my arm and I yell out in pain. Something flashes over Josh's face that I've never seen before.
"Let go of her arm before I break yours." Josh has managed to step in between Chad and me even though Chad still has a firm grip on my arm. Just when I think Josh is actually going to try to fight this guy, two huge bouncers come up behind Chad.
"Ma'am, is this guy bothering you?"
"Yes." "Yes." Josh and I say in unison. In one swift movement, the bouncer grabs Chad by the shoulders and I find myself wrapped in Josh's arms.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I've dealt with his kind before. He's just drunk." I can't believe I got that whole sentence out because Josh is rubbing his hand down my back.
"What were you doing with that guy anyway?"
"Dancing Josh. Look around. It's kind of what you do here." Okay, my attempt to lighten the mood did not work. Josh just pulls me tighter to him and brushes my hair away from my face.
"I think we should go." Go? We've only been here an hour? It's not even 11 o'clock yet.
"So soon? Is Tammy ready?" We both look in the direction of Tammy and Sam. Oh my. Sam is currently exploring Tammy's mouth with his tongue. My, oh my, indeed. Damn, he looks like a great kisser.
"Looks like Sam's ready." Josh gives me a smile. There are the dimples. God, I hate the dimples. Yeah, right. I love them. That's the problem.
"We don't have to leave Josh. Don't let Chad ruin the night."
"Chad didn't ruin it. I think he helped get it on the way to being a lot better." Okay, where did that voice come from? He's tracing circles on my back and talking all low and sexy. It must be the tequila. Jose' Cuervo is screwing with me.
"They can stay here. I just think it's time for us to leave. We need to talk." I swallow hard to dislodge the lump that has formed in my throat.
"Talk? What about?"
"About why I don't want you dancing with guys like Chad."
"Why shouldn't I be dancing with guys like Chad?"
"Because I'm a jealous man, Donnatella." I'm drunk. I've got to be drunk. Maybe Josh is drunk. This can't be happening.
"Are you drunk?"
"No." Oh. My. God.
"A little." Good. I think I need another drink.
"Let's go." He leads me over to where Sam is kissing Tammy. He pokes Sam in the back and mumbles something to him. Tammy grabs me by the hand and pulls me toward the bar.
"Let him take you home. Talk to him Donna. And remember. If you can't be good, at least be good at it."
"You are such a slut."
"And I'm very good at it."
"Don't hurt Sam."
"Sam put the move on me. Not the other way around."
"Okay, just don't give him a heart
"You got it. I'll call you in the morning." Tammy smiles over my shoulder as Josh comes up behind me and wraps an arm around my waist.
"Let's go." I wave goodbye to Tammy and Sam as Josh guides me toward the door. He slides his hand down my arm and grabs my fingers while he hails a cab. How did I get here? Josh is holding my hand and taking me home. What a turn of events. My, my, my oh my. The cab pulls up and Josh holds the door open for me.
"Wait! My purse is in Tam's car. I don't have my house keys."
"We'll go to my place." What? Okie dokie. We'll go to your place.
"We need to talk." Talk? Talk about what? I probably don't want to know. Whew, it's cold out here. I shiver and Josh must notice because he pulls me next to him as we ride in the back of the cab. Well, isn't this nice? Josh has his arm draped around me. Nice.
Thank God. Donna left her purse in Tammy's car. Now we can go to my place. Donna shivers a little. She must be cold. I pull her close to me and drape my arm across her shoulders. She's still buzzed. She's cute when she's a little tipsy. She talks with her hands more and gets all happy. The cab takes a hard turn and she ends up reaching out for my leg to brace herself. I can't let an opportunity like that go by, so as her hand lands on my knee I reach down with my other hand and thread her fingers through mine. She looks up at me and smiles. That's a good sign. Maybe Tammy's right and she does like me. We've really got to talk. Talking is good. Talking is what we do. We talk.
The cab pulls up in front of my building and I offer Donna my hand as she steps out of the cab. She smiles up and me and then frowns.
"Come on, Donna. You must be freezing in that napkin you're passing off as a shirt."
Donna stops dead in her tracks and glares at me. Oh shit. I've done it again.
"What's wrong with it? You've been complaining about my clothes all night. Why? Do I look that bad? Chad thought I looked good." Okay. Must fix. Must fix now.
"You do look good. Too good." That earned me a smile as I slip my hand back in hers and pull her up my apartment steps.
"I'm hot." Damn straight.
"Yes you are Donnatella."
"Damn straight!" Huh?! I push open my door and guide Donna inside. She weaves her way through the apartment and goes into the kitchen. I love it that she knows where everything is. She pulls open the fridge and pulls out a bottle of water.
"What do you want to talk about?" Here we go.
"Us." She stops in mid motion. Her face just went pale. Oh shit.
"Us?" I think I just squeaked that.
Okay, I'm sober now. Sober as a stone. Josh is walking toward me with a look on his face I've never seen before. He
looks....he looks...He looks like he's going to kiss me!
"Do you want there to be an us?" HELL YES!!
"Uh huh." Did I just say 'uh-huh'? God, I did. He's laughing at me now. But it kinda soft and sexy. That must be why I don't mind so much. He's only a few inches from me now and I feel his hand reach out and slide around to my
"Josh." God that feels good.
"Donna, I have to know if you want this as much as I do. Say something." He wants me to speak? I don't think I could even string four syllables
together! Think Donna. Make him understand that you want this too! Uh..Uh..what the hell. I reach out and grab him by the neck.
Okay, I didn't expect her to choke out a question like that. Maybe Tammy is crazy. Maybe I'm wrong, but I've got to know for sure. I walk toward her. I can't help but reach out and touch her. The feel of her skin on my hands is
intoxicating. I'd give my left arm if I could just kiss her right now.
"Do you want there to be an us?" Please say yes. Just one word. Yes.
"Uh-huh." My God I've rendered her speechless. I am so da man! I trace small circles along her back as I step closer to her.
"Josh." Oh God, I've never heard my name said like that.
"Donna, I have to know if you want this as much as I do. Say something." Please. Talking is what we do. You've got to say something. And before I can blink, her hands are around my neck and her lips are on mine. It's not a
sweet gentle first kiss type kiss. It's a 'can't you tell how much I want you' kiss. Jesus, I've never been kissed like this before. I pull Donna closer to me and some how manage to tangle my fingers in the string that is holding the bottom of her top together. Well, that's lucky. As the strings fall to either side of her back, Donna pulls away. Oh shit. I've pushed too far, too fast.
"Donna, I'm sorry."
"It's too soon. I'm….."
"I don't want you to think that I'm the type of girl that just falls into bed. I'm not. But, tonight..."
"Tonight we'll blame it on the leather pants." She's smiling at me.
"Yeah. We'll blame Tammy and the leather pants."
"Tammy's a great friend."
"So you say now."
"She bought those pants didn't she?"
"They look fantastic on you." I've decided to multitask at this point. I think I can kiss Donna's neck and continue this conversation at the same time. She must like that because the only reply she offers me is a moan. I think I've just lost the ability of speech. Yep, not enough blood in the brain for verbal skills right night.
"Lose the leather pants."
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